A CSI Christmas Carol
by PHS Orchid
Summary: Grissom wants to go after Sara after her departure, but he hasn’t got the nerve. It’s Christmas evening, and when he falls asleep, three special visitors give him a few hints..
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. Neither CSI, nor Scrooge.

**Summary:** Grissom wants to go after Sara after her departure, but he hasn't got the nerve. It's Christmas evening, and when he falls asleep, three special visitors give him a few hints..

**Rated: **K

Enjoy!

Prologue

With a yawn Grissom stood up from the couch. He walked towards the kitchen cabinet, looked at the half empty bottle of scotch and poured himself another glass of the amber-coloured liquid. He sighed as he walked over to the window and looked at the multicolored lights of _the Strip_.

_I never thought I'd be able to miss a person so much.._

The thought crossed his mind like a razor, and he quickly took a sip of scotch to burn it away. Somewhere inside he hoped it would make the pain go away as well, but his sharp mind told him the truth. He was lost, and he damn well knew it. And still, he didn't have the guts to do something about it.

But that wasn't because he was afraid of the consequences, like before. Or because he didn't know what he felt, or what he wanted. He knew all of those things. No, it was the pain in her eyes.. the pain he'd seen so vividly when she'd walked into the lab and kissed him. After that, it was the horrible letter. When he read it, his heart felt like breaking and all he wanted to do was scream.

But he couldn't.

She'd called him. To let him know where she was and that she was okay. She missed him terribly, but didn't want to come home; she did make that clear. It hurt him that she didn't want to come back, but he also understand why. He'd sighed when she told him, told her he loved her, and when she'd said the same thing back – which made him feel a bit better, but only a bit – he'd hung up with tears in his eyes.

And now he was sitting here, on Christmas eve, the booze being the only friend in his vicinity. He drank the rest of his drink and sat back on the couch, picking up an entomology book from the coffeetable on his way down. He settled down against a fluffy pillow and started reading. He didn't keep it up for long, though, 'cause soon the drifted away into a deep, deep sleep.


	2. Chapter 1

**See the prologue for the disclaimer, summary etc.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter one_

_Off to sleep_

Grissom felt lovely when he was asleep. He always felt as if he was floating on air, or water, or some other substance that gave him a weightless sensation. His lips twitched a little, as he felt a cool something run over them. He frowned, not knowing what it was, and then slowly opened his eyes. She shut them again, but then almost throwing them open as he suddenly realized he saw a woman standing next to him. She smiled, and then with a blow he recognized her.

It was Sofia.

'Hello, Gil.' She said. Her voice echoed a bit, thought his apartment wasn't big enough to form an echo. He looked at her with an arched brow. She looked so.. peculiar. She had a silver glow around her, with hints of purple. Her long hair looked more silver-gold then sunshine-blonde, which is had always been, and her beautiful peach-coloured skin complex was now pale and gleaming, like the surface of the moon. She wore a soft lavender gown, and as Grissom studied her closer, he saw she had strands of lavender in her hair as well, put together with pearls. She looked stunning. Scary, but stunning.

'S-sofia?' he tried, and she smiled, yet shook her head. It made her hair move up and down, making her look like a young schoolgirl who was taking a bath.

'No.' she said. 'I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.' Grissom's jaw dropped. He had to make hell of an effort not to laugh in Sofia's face, or to make a smart comment, or do anything else that would pop the joke. She just looked at him, with her silver-grey-blue eyes.

'So.' Grissom said, when he found his speaking organ again, looking quizzically at the "ghost". 'What brings you to my humble home?'

She smiled again.

'I've come to take you on a trip.' Grissom's brows went up as she stretched out her glowing hand. He stood up, already starting to say things to stop this charade, but when he stood next to her, taking her in again from head to toe, he noticed she was indeed _floating_. As he looked at her feet, which stopped an inch or two above his carpet, he forgot what he wanted to say. He just took her hand, and the second his fingers touched those of the Ghost, he was also floating – for real this time – and they flew through the window.

Grissom didn't notice he'd held his eyes shut until he heard Sofia's soft, echoing voice again.

'Open your eyes..' she whispered, and he complied. First one eye, then the next, then both at the same time. He blinked a few times and looked around. He was in a bedroom. It was a bit cluttered – you could even call it messy – but it looked cosy. What looked like at least a dozen books were piled up against the wall next to the bed, throwing a shadow onto the bedside table. There was a big wooden closet on his right hand, which was half open, and a comfortable looking bed stood right before Grissom's feet. The sound of Christmas carols came out somewhere out of another part of the house, and a few Christmas cards lay on the bed.

'Where are we?' he asked, but before the Ghost had time to answer, a woman came in through the door that he didn't see- the one behind his back. He spun around, following the woman through the room. She sniffed, and when she held still in front of the bed, whipping her nose with her sleeve, Grissom saw she was crying. Her brown eyes were swollen and her dark blonde hair was a mess. She was shaking all over, which made her thin posture look even thinner. Still, she looked attractive. Grissom wondered why, and with a pang he knew.

_Damn. She looks like Sara.._

With eyes the size of dinner plates, Grissom approached the woman.

'H-hi.' he tried. 'Is, uh.. is there anything I can do to help you?'

The woman remained silent, accept for the occasional sob, and then suddenly turned around and walked to the closet. Grissom's gaze sought Sofia's, and when their eyes met, he didn't even have to ask.

'She can't here you, Gil.'

'Why not? Where are we?' She smiled again. This time, it gave him chills.

'Just watch. You'll see.' The voice of the woman startled him. He turned around, facing the wardrobe. Angry, yet defeated and sad sounds came from it as the woman came out again, carrying a suitcase.

'It's over. I've had it! What was I thinking, I knew it! Why do I always do this to myself? I knew! _I always knew damnit_!' She turned around again and came back with her arms full of clothes, which she threw into the suitcase.

'I'm done! I'm done here!'

'Laura?!' The threatening voice of a man filled the room, as a shape appeared in the doorway. From the corner of his eye, Grissom could see a glimpse of the figure. He was tall, also a bit thin-postured, with dark waves of hair and dark eyes, which burned with fury.

'What the hell do you think you're doing?' he whispered, looking the pile of clothes in the suitcase.

'What does it look like? I'm leaving! And I'm taking Sara with me!'

Grissom flinched when he heard her name, and he started to understand where he was.

'Sara!' Laura yelled. 'Sara, come to mommy!'

'You're not going anywhere.' The man stated angrily.

'Oh, yes I am.' She flung a few more shirts into the suitcase and closed it up. 'Sara!' she exclaimed again, and then forced a smile at someone in the doorway. Grissom turned around and saw-

'Sara! Come here, baby. Come to mommy.' Although Grissom had never seen photo's of Sara when she was young, he recognized her immediately. The dark curly hair, the gap-toothed smile, the bright dark eyes and thin posture. Even if he hadn't heard Laura call Sara by her name, he would have seen the resemblance. He smiled at the nine-year-old when he remembered she couldn't see him, and instead looked at the mother and father again. Sara soon ran into the arms of her mother.

'Laura,' the man started, trying to sound sweet, 'I'm telling you, you are _not_ leaving me!'

Laura smiled wickedly, a smile that Grissom had seen on Sara so many times.

'Oh, hell yeah, I am!' She took Sara by the hand, took the suitcase in the other, and walked towards her husband.

'Let me pass.'

'No.'

'Let me go! Let me leave!' she almost screamed.

'NO!' Before Grissom knew what happened, the man had already slapped Laura, and she was on the bed, crying. Sara just stood there, eyes wide of fear and shock. She blinked a few times, and then walked over to the bed.

'Mommy, are you okay?' she asked softly, but her father went totally crazy.

'Don't you even think of going over to her, Sara! I warn you! Go to your room! Now!' Sara didn't move, and he just raised his hand to hit her too, when the woman jumped up from the bed and threw herself on top of him.

'What the hell-' the man muttered as he tried to get his wife under control again with a couple of punches. In between he tried to get Sara away.

'Sara! I told you to go! Get out of here! Get lost!' Sara just stood there. Grissom knew why she didn't move – she couldn't, she was totally shocked and numbed. A child of nine years old, that noticed this kind of violence and rage.. it was unbelievable.

'SARA!' he shouted and then the little girl suddenly seemed to find her senses again.

'Stop it!' she softly yelled. 'Please, daddy, stop it! Don't hit mommy. Please..' She started crying while her parents kept fighting. They now both had several injuries, and the guy was absolutely out of his mind with anger. Laura cried out when her husband punched her in the stomach and slammed her head against the wall, and when Grissom looked over to see how Sara was doing, he noticed her running towards the big closet. He went after her, and ducked into the darkness as well as she did. Sofia was right behind him – he could tell by the lavender light that lighted up the closet's inside. He heard the muffled cries and groans and when the doors closed, they almost disappeared. All he heard were a few soft sounds, sounds you couldn't place if you didn't know what was out there. He could make out a rapid breathing pattern, missed with a few sobs. After a minute or two, the sobs became more frequent, until he could certainly say Sara was crying her heart out.

He wanted to hug her. He wanted to take her in his arms and make the pain go away. But he couldn't.

'Make it stop.' Sara whispered softly in between cries. 'Make it stop, please!'

The next moment, Grissom felt Sofia's hand on his shoulder and they were flying out of the closet again. The environment faded away, and slowly equalized out again into the walls and interior of his own apartment. He breathed heavily as he sat on his bed, looking at the Ghost of Christmas Past.

'Why did you bring me there?' he asked. Sofia blinked.

'You can't run away from your past. It makes it worse. Make it a part of your future, that way, it is a part of you. That way, you can make peace with it. With yourself.' She gave another ghostly smile and then faded away, in a cloud of purple and silver. Grissom blinked a few times, wondering is he was awake, and when he pinched himself, he knew he was. But, feeling awfully tired right now, he decide to lay his head back on his pillow. Before he knew it, he was drifting away again, into a deep sleep..

* * *


	3. Chapter 2

**See the prologue for disclaimer, summary etc.**

**Note: My apologies if there are any mistakes in the spelling; English isn't my first language and I don't have a beta.**

**But anyway, once again: enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter Two_

_Hat with bells_

This time Grissom kept his eyes shut when he heard someone say his name.

_No more of this nonsense. If I don't wake up, it'll go away eventually._

But after five more minutes of trying not to notice the person in his bedroom, he sighed and opened his eyes. While his eyes got used to the darkness that surrounded him, he sat up and tried to see if he could recognize the shape that sat in a chair next to his bed. When he turned on the light, he saw and couldn't help but laugh hysterically.

It was Greg, or at least something that looked like Greg. He had the same kind of strange complexion and glow Sofia had also had earlier, only he wasn't wearing a lavender gown – that would've been ever more hilarious. Greg was wearing an April Fool's costume, including a three coloured suit and hat and shoes with bells on them. Though the costume was partially covered by a lab coat, which loosely hung over his shoulders, he still looked like some freak show that was banished from the local carnival – especially with the hat.

_Oh man, I got to lay off the scotch.._

When Grissom was done laughing, he looked at Greg.

'Greg, why are you in my house, and why are you wearing that _ridiculous_ costume?'

'I'm not Greg.'

'You're not?' Grissom arched a brow.

'Nope. I am the Ghost of Christmas Present.'

'Oh god, not another one..' He rolled his eyes. 'So, let me guess: you're here to take me on a trip?'

Greg grinned and held out his hand, just like the Sofia-ghost had done. Grissom thought about just walking straight through whatever it was that was now in his bedroom, and go for a drive. By the time he got back, it would be gone for sure. But curiosity finally won in and he took the hand with a sigh. He felt the similar feeling of being sucked out of the universe and he once again felt his surroundings fade away. They equalized out again soon after. Grissom had no idea where he was, but he could guess.

The room was cozy – small, but cozy. There was a bed, a bedside table, a closet, and a desk. The door next to him gave access to what looked like a small livingroom. The kitchen and bathroom seemed to be somewhere in the other section as well. The walls were peach-coloured, which gave the room a warm look. There was a little Christmas tree in a corner, with lights in all colours and a golden star on top.

His guess turned out to be right when Sara came walking into the room. She looked paler then usual and she didn't look particularly happy either. She was humming _Rudolph the red-nosed Reindeer _though, while she picked up a few shirts that were all across the room. Grissom decided to look around again; maybe if this wasn't a dream he could figure out where exactly Sara was, and he could visit her! The keycard on the bedside table made him realize, with a pang of sadness, that she was staying in a hotel room or some kind.

'Oh Sara..' he sighed. The fact that Sara turned around and let her eyes slide through the room anxiously, made his brows go up.

'I thought they couldn't see or hear me?' he asked Greg softly, in case Sara _could_ hear him this time.

'She can't really hear you. But you two have a very strong bond that won't even break when you're in different parallel time zones of space.'

'Right, so..' Grissom thought for a moment. 'This is the present? Sara's present?' Greg nodded.

'And I'm here because..?" Greg smiled.

'Dude, just look.' Grissom arched another brow and his eyes shifted back to Sara. She was now walking towards the window, rubbing her arms. He wanted to go over there and warm her up, hold her, kiss her.. all the things he hadn't been able to do for the past few months.

But he couldn't.

He did move a bit towards where she was standing. Sara lifted her hand and touched something on a small table next to the window. When he looked at what it was, he saw it was an orchid. _His _orchid, the one he had given her! A sigh escaped his throat and he smiled.

_I can't believe she still has it – I can't believe she took it with her!_

Her hand carefully touched the vulnerable petals.

'I miss you..' she whispered to the plant. 'I wish you were here with me..' Then, she looked out the window and spoke out loud.

'I love you, Grissom. Wherever you are.. Merry Christmas.' She then turned around and he saw a few tears rolling down her cheek. He felt a lump in his throat when he thought of his conversation with Catherine. He'd stated that she didn't want him anywhere near her. He was so wrong..

Sara walked towards the bed, now softly singing _All I want for Christmas if you._ She lay down, yawned and curled up into a fetal position.

The next minute, Grissom felt Greg's hand on his shoulder and Sara's room faded away. A second later he felt the warm softness of his own bed under his behind, and he sat in his own bedroom again.

He sighed and looked at April Fool Greg.

'So, what was this supposed to teach me?' he asked. Greg shrugged.

'Why don't you tell me?' This annoyed Grissom.

'Excuse me? You took me on this trip, remember? Why should I explain? It was Sara's present, not mine!'

'Ding, ding, ding, we've hit the Jackpot!' Greg made a victory dance, which made all of the little bells jingle. Grissom raised his brows.

'It _was _Sara's present! And now, Mister Super Scientist, what was _missing_ in her present?' Grissom thought about that question for a second.

'Err.. happiness?' Greg rolled his eyes and slapped himself in his face. He looked like Homer from the Simpsons, having a D'oh-moment.

'Almost. C'mon, Bugdoc. I'll give you one last hint. _Say it with flowers.._' He then jumped and with a backwards flip-flop he disappeared into thin air, leaving behind a soft poof and a cloud of glitter.

Grissom blinked. If he wasn't feeling so very, very tired, he would have put all of his thoughts together to figure out what the hell was going on. But all he wanted to do was sleep. He lay down again and closed his eyes, with a strange - not so very nice - feeling he wouldn't be asleep for long..

* * *


	4. Chapter 3

**See prologue for disclaimer etc.**

**Again, my apologies for any spelling mistakes.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Chapter three_

_A peek into what's ahead of us_

This time Grissom woke up himself.

'Finally, no one's around.' He muttered to himself. He yawned, scratched his arm, which was itching bit, and then swung his legs over the edge of the bed. What he saw sitting in his chair almost gave him an old-fashioned cardiac arrest.

'Jesus, who are you? And what are you doing in my house?' The young woman blinked and stood up. Grissom hit the lights.

'Catherine?' he asked, studying her closely. She did look like Catherine, a lot. The woman had the same near-perfect skin complexion, the same reddish hair which fell loosely on her shoulders like the Niagara waterfalls, the same peering blue eyes and perfect heart-shaped lips. Her body, which wasn't completely covered by the short, black silk dress, was certainly one of a dancer. But still.. it wasn't Catherine. He thought about anyone he'd know that would have such an astonishing resemblance to his friend and college and when he looked at the young woman's nose, he recognized it as Eddy's. Then it hit him.

'Wait a minute. Lindsey!' he exclaimed and he smiled when he recognized the – how old could this phantom be? – 19, 20-year-old as Catherine's daughter.

_Wait 'till I tell Catherine how much Linds is going to look like her when she's all grown up._

Lindsey smiled.

'Hi doc. I've come to take you on a trip.' Grissom's smile was chased away by a frown. He arched a brow and rolls his eyes when he remembered Sofia and her Lady in Lavender act, and later on Greg with his Jinglebell Rock.

'No. I'm not going. I don't now what you guys are up to, but it's to stupid to even think about, okay?' This time Lindsey arched a brow.

'Gil,' she said. Her voice sounded so much like Catherine's it was scary. Only Lindsey's voice sounded more like a muse. With an echo he'd heard before on Sofia. 'Don't I seem a bit old, for this to be a prank? If this were a hoax, wouldn't I be just a kid?'

He had to think about that for a second.

'Okay, since you're older then you are in the present, you must be..'

'The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.' She smiled again and it revealed a line of perfect white teeth. Then she held out her hand. Grissom sighed. He had no choice but to take it.

After the now becoming familiar feelings - like being swung around in a popcorn machine, and landing on a set of Skippy balls - Grissom found himself in the dark.

'Where are we?'

Lindsey snapped her fingers and a little light appeared between them. It was the first time Grissom became fully aware of the fact that this might not be a joke – maybe it _was _real.

'We're a bit early.' Was all he heard her say.

'So, what are we going to do? Play cards until the event you want to show me is going to start?' Grissom mocked with both brows up. She didn't answer, but he didn't care. Because the second Lindsey's smile had appeared, it suddenly was the middle of the day and Grissom now saw where they were. They were at a graveyard, sitting under a huge tree. There was a little layer of snow on it's branches and Grissom noticed it weren't only the branches of the tree – everything around them had a white blanket covering it.

'Why are we on a cemetery?' Though he knew he wouldn't get an answer out of the Lindsey-phantom, he had to ask. Just when Grissom wondered whether she'd fallen asleep with her eyes open or not, she stood up and floated towards a row of tombstones.

'Hey, wait!'

She didn't stop and Grissom started to walk after her. She sure could float fast! Then, suddenly, she halted in front of a tombstone. If he couldn't have walked right through Lindsey, which he did, he would have fallen right on top of her. He looked at her, frustrated, and then his eyes opened up and his jaw dropped like he'd just seen the Ghost of Christmas Past – funny under the circumstances. A woman came walking through the snow. She was holding a red rose and a shopping bag, and slowly strolled along and stopped in front of the same stone Grissom and Lindsey were watching.

Grissom looked at the woman. Her dark hair was going grey, and her face was wrinkled. Her brown eyes showed endless love and above all, sorrow and pain when a silent tear ran over her cheek.

'Hello Gil.' She said and Grissom knew it was Sara. He would recognize that voice anywhere – like he'd done before when she first came to Vegas.

He still remembered that moment. He was photographing the dummies Nick was tossing of the roof when she suddenly stood behind him, making a joke about a teacher they had both known. What he'd felt then was indescribable. The same feeling hit him now, hearing her say his name with such softness and love in her voice. It almost made him cry.

'So how've you been?' She chuckled, 'I've been fine. You know, the other day I found this really large spider in the bathroom? It didn't scare me out as much as it used to.. But I still didn't put in a fishbowl and kept it as a pet, though..' She smiled. 'Only you would have done that. And that's why..' She reached out into the bag she had carried with her, and took out a jar with holes in the lid. It contained a big, black spider, along with a few branches and pieces of mistletoe.

_Wow, that really is a large spider._

She opened the lit and let the spider walk out of the jar, onto the snowy ground. It was gone so soon, Grissom couldn't even make out were it had been.

'Losing you was so hard for me. But on the other hand, you lost me to, earlier. Technically, we're square now. I can't help it, though. I love you so much..'

Grissom listened to her with a heart that felt like a balloon that would burst any minute. Then, Sara sighed and stood up.

'I should probably get going then. I have people waiting.. I hope you liked the spider!' She put the rose in the snow before the grave. Then, she lifted her fingers to her mouth and kissed them and softly placed the fingers on the tombstone.

'Merry Christmas, Gil.'

Grissom then realized Sara had been talking to him – in his grave! He hadn't even noticed it because of Sara's loving words, but right now it hit him like a bullet. He walked to the stone and wiped away the snow that covered the name of the person in the grave.

_In loving memory of_

_Gilbert Grissom_

Grissom put his hand over his mouth, and stared at the text, then looked over at the aging Sara, who was now walking under the tree he'd been under just ten minutes ago.

'I'm dead?' was all he could say. His gaze shifted to Lindsey, who nodded.

'What happened?'

'Well, you know what happened so far. Sara left, you are lost, blah blah blah. Right, then we come to the point where you are now. Whether you go after her or not. You didn't. You decided to give her all the time she needed; you stopped calling, you stopped writing. After a while, she thought you'd lost interest. I've never seen anyone hurt more in my entire life, I can say.. Anyway, thinking you didn't love her anymore, she tried to move on. Years passed, and she found herself a new family. She loved them, sure she did, but she never loved them as much as she loved you. She never stopped loving you..'

Grissom didn't know what to say. But Lindsey spoke again.

'With you, on the other hand, it didn't go so well. When you gave her space and she didn't initiate any further contact, you thought the same about her as she did about you. That's when you fell completely apart. You quit the lab, and locked yourself in your house. Jim had to pick your lock to get you out. Even when they got you out you wouldn't speak to anyone. They all saw you deteriorate, but they couldn't help and it hurt them all. Anyway, things went on that way for a few years and then the crash put an end to it.'

'The crash?' Grissom asked softly. Lindsey nodded.

'You'd been out walking the dog. You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't see the car coming round the corner with high speed. Hank got away, but you were hit. There was nothing the paramedics could do..'

Grissom sat down on his own tombstone and looked around. Lindsey sat down next to him and took his hand. It felt like his hand was lifted by a string of voile, not at all like the touch of a human hand.

'Sara came over the minute she found out about the accident. When she heard you hadn't made it.. well, let's just say all sanity in the world went down the drain the moment she collapsed. It looked as if her entire world felt apart, at least the pieces that hadn't already..' Lindsey sighed.

'I have never seen another person love someone as Sara loves you, Gil.'

Grissom closed his eyes. Every memory of Sara rushed through his head – from the first time he'd seen her, to moment she'd left him. The moment she'd left him..

'I can't go after her.' He sighed. 'I just _can't_. She.. she doesn't want me to.'

Now that was an excuse, and he knew it. He was afraid. She'd left him, and it confirmed his feelings. He had allowed her to get close to him, and when she had, she walked away. It was exactly the feeling he didn't want to have. The feeling that made him reject her for so long, the feeling he'd discussed with dr. Lurie, the feeling he feared more than anything in the world. Now he felt it, and god, it hurt! He knew she didn't leave because she was tired of _him_, but still..

'You know better.'

'No, I don't. She doesn't want me with her. End of story.' He stood up, face down, eyes closed. He couldn't look up right now. He didn't want anyone seeing him cry. He felt the voile touch on his chin and saw the Ghost of the Future's big blue eyes when she lifted it.

'Then there's nothing more I can do. I'm sorry, Gil.'

She let go of his chin and started to back away. The minute she did so, Grissom felt the ground under his feet stir. He looked at his feet and saw they were partially sucked into the moist soil.

'What the hell? Lindsey!' he yelled.

'I'm sorry, Gil. I'm sorry.. I'm sor.. I'm.. I..' Her voice was trailing off and it was all he heard, besides his own screams.

'Help! Get me out of here!' he screamed, trying to loosen up the hold of the graveyard dirt. It felt like quicksand; the more he fought it, the faster it pulled him in. When he was about to be covered by it, he took one last breath, knowing it would be his last.

_I love you, Sara.. _was his last thought, before his head was covered in the brown mud of his own future grave..

* * *

**Note: I would like to hear your opinion on my story. Please let me know - you know how! Thanks.**


	5. Epilogue

**Final**** Chapter! I hope everyone had fun reading it. This piece gives a bit of closure, and somewhat a happy ending.**

**See prologue for disclaimer etc.**

**For the last time****, my apologies for any spelling mistakes.**

**Merry Christmas!**

* * *

_Epilogue_

_Decisions made_

A loud knock on the door went through the small hotel room. When Sara opened the door, her jaw dropped and her brown eyes became about as large as basketballs.

'What the hell are you-' she started astonished when she saw Grissom standing on her doorstep, but she never got the chance to finish her sentence. He cupped her face and kissed her softly, tender, but above all, passionate. It made her knees go weak..

'Gil.. what are you doing here?' she asked again when their lips parted from each other. He still held her in his arms though, as if she'd vanish if he ever let go.

'I..' It was the first moment since he had decided to go after her, that he realized he had no idea what he wanted to say to her. So he just said what was in his heart.

'I love you.'

She smiled and brought her hands up to caress his cheek.

'But.. how? Why? I..' She pulled him closer to her and breathed onto his shoulder.

'I missed you..' he whispered as he fought back his tears. Gil Grissom does not cry, he thought.

Sara pulled back and looked at him. Then, she stepped out of the way to let him pass. He walked over to the bed that was located in the middle of the room. He took hold of her hand and when he sat down, he pulled her into his lap.

'So, why are you here?' she looked at his face. He looked so much older than he'd done when she left.. And more tired.. god, he looked completely worn out. She regretted leaving him that instant.

'I love you.' He whispered. The statement made Sara shiver, although she knew it already. But now that she had calmed down, she wanted some answers.

'Yeah, you told me that. But that doesn't explain why you're here.'

'Yes, it does. You need to deal with something from your past. You love me so much that you don't want me seeing you walk out the door to face your demons. I love _you _so much I want to be there when you come home again, to take you in my arms and hold you throughout the night. I don't care what I have to do, as long you won't make me leave.'

Sara just stared at him.

'Gil-'

'No.' he said, putting a finger on her lips. 'Don't, please. Don't make me leave.. Please.'

Sara saw something in his eyes she'd only seen once before. It was when she was held at knifepoint by a suspect in a locked room. Next to the locked door had been a window and Grissom was looking through it as the guy held a knife to Sara's throat. The fear she'd then seen had terrified her more than the guy who threatened to kill her. His eyes had been so large of astonishment and angst, so full of pain and fear. She never wanted to see that look again, ever.

But she saw it again right now.

_Do I really want to do that to him?_

No, she thought. Sara relaxed in his arms and pushed him onto the bed, snuggling closely to him.

'Okay, you can stay.' She whispered. Deep down inside she never wanted him to leave, but it were her stubbornness and bad memories of her past that had made her question it. But it was clear to her now. She gave him a feather light kiss on the lips and buried her dazzled eyes into his shoulder, knowing they would stay together for a long, long time to come – if not so, for ever..

* * *

**I really loved writing this and I hope you had as much fun reading it! **


End file.
